I got Mariah Carey a parcel of undeveloped land as a holiday gift. But she said “I don’t want a lot for Christmas.”

A elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Walmart. “Walmart?” the preacher exclaimed. “Why Walmart?” “Then I’ll be sure my daughters will visit me twice a week.”

Why didn’t the Terminator upgrade to Windows 10? I asked him and he said, “I still love vista, baby.”

A female has been robbing local convenience stores in the middle of the night in the nude. So far the best description the police have is “I think she has brown hair”

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my Drs permission to start exercising. I decided to start a aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. By the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

Sherlock Holmes and Watson are walking around London when a cat jumps on Watson and pees on him “Oh bloody hell” says an upset Watson, “my shirt is ruined” “Well, you got to take it up with the owner”, says Sherlock calmly. “I’ve no clue who the owner is!” shouts Watson, still angry. “Well, my … Read more

My big breasted neighbor has been walking around in the garden topless all week I just wish that his wife would do the same

What do you call a woman who won’t give head? You don’t.

Why is reverse cowgirl a sin in Alabama? Because you never turn your back on family.

In Ancient Rome, there were four types of poisons. Poisons I, II, and III were deadly, but Poison IV just made you really itchy.