When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits. When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was…
A boob, a vagina and an asshole are debating as to who is the greatest of them all. Boob: I give milk to new born babies and I’m attractive to the opposite sex, that’s why I’m the greatest. Vagina: I give birth to babies and I accommodate the opposite sex, that’s why I’m the greatest….
A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO. It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. An old man on a moped, looking about 100 years…
My mate broke his leg so I went to see him at home. “How are you mate?” “Yeah I’m okay. But do me a favour mate. Go fetch my slippers from upstairs. My feet are freezing.” I went upstairs and found his two gorgeous 21 year old twin daughters lying naked on the bed. I…
My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I’m paid to travel. My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I’m a bus driver.
My daughter woke me up around midnight last night, tugged my arm and asked “Daddy, do you know how old I’ll be next month?” Tired as I was, I knew this was important to her: I don’t know, sweetie. She just smiled and held up 4 fingers. It’s now morning and we’ve been up all…
The woman decided to divorce her husband and hired a lawyer specialising in divorces. The lawyer asked her: “So, what is the reason for your decision?” She replied: “We’re too compatible.” The lawyer: “Don’t you mean ‘too incompatible’? She: No, we’re really too compatible. I love going to the cinema, he likes going to the…
My wife screamed in pain during labor so I asked, “What’s wrong?”. She screamed. “These contractions are going to kill me!” “I am sorry, honey,” I replied. “What is wrong?”
A little boy and girl are arguing about the sexes A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is…
Two young, entrepreneurial prostitutes were driving around town. Their car had a sign on top that read: “Two Prostitutes – $50.00.” A police officer, seeing the sign, pulled the ladies over and advised that they would have to remove the sign or go to jail. Right about that time a minivan passed by with a…
